Last Lecture

It just occurred to me that my last lecture for GMU officially ended today. Next Wednesday is the final exam and hopefully I'll be able to turn in final grades a few days later. Surprisingly, I've had very few complaints with this class. I still have the usual slackers and there were times when I felt my lectures could have been tighter. But overall, it was a good semester.

I remember my last day at Loyola Marymount University and Santa Monica College. I did feel a sense of loss as if my work with students was unfinished and incomplete. I have that feeling again with the students at GMU ... at least, the ones who matter ... which is a small minority ... which seems to be consistent every semester ... Anyways ...

But there's also this feeling of relief that this semester, and my time at GMU and living in Washington, DC, is almost over. It would too cliche to say "I'll be starting a new chapter." Geez that sounds really sappy. I think it's closure that best describes my state of being; maybe, a clean break and a real desire to just move on and see what else is out there. A very good friend of mine in grad school once said at the completion of her qualifying exams, "I am totally done with this place."

Yup!

"He's dead, Jim"

Just being silly ...

Grinnell Housing

A few days ago, right when we're about to sign off on the apartment in downtown Grinnell, it was suddenly and painfully swiped from us by another renter! The rental market is pretty competitive considering that prime spots with all the amenities are highly sought after locations.

I was worried. I think my partner was more worried than me. But after a few more days, and with the assistance of my wonderful colleague, we finally found a wonderful gem. It's a house with over 1,500 square feet, 2 bedroom / 1 bath with a garage, attic, basement, washer/dryer, central air, and large front and backyard right off the campus on Elm Street. It so happens that my colleague in the Sociology Department is my next door neighbor as well! But finally, I can have some peace of mind knowing that we'll have a place to live.

Now I got to think about a decent snow shovel.

The State of Asian American Studies

I came across news about the Strategic Plan for the University of Maryland, College Park, which describes the educational, administrative, and budgetary policy for the next five to ten years (actually it was an op-ed piece by two Asian American students). Nothing about Asian American students or Asian American Studies was mentioned in the plan even though the student population is steadily increasing each year. This plan becomes more problematic given that the state is forecasting budgetary shortfalls in the near future thus jeopardizing not only future programs like Asian American Studies, but also existing ones in Ethnic Studies, Women's Studies, etc. It also extends all the way down to student organizations and their resources to organize events and functions.

Moving to Grinnell

If there's one thing harder about moving it's not knowing the place that is being recommended to you. For one thing, the frame of reference is going to be drastically different. The place is located in "downtown" Grinnell in the commercial district. But it's not "downtown" in the same way as Los Angeles, San Francisco, or Washington, DC. "Downtown" Grinnell is just a couple of blocks long. Noise is not really a problem because downtown Grinnell generally closes down in the evening; the local theater is across the street where the latest movies are shown and it costs only $6. The place is next door to the Grinnell Coffee Shop so it's easy to walk down, grab a cup of coffee and pastry, and come back up. My partner did warn me though that being in that kind of location will accentuate life in a bubble where local residents, students, and other faculty will not only know who I am but where I live as well. I know the lines between my personal and professional life will blur quite tremendously, but I think the real challenge is how I would cope living in a small town.

Thought of the Day

"We photographers deal in things which are continually vanishing, and when they have vanished there is no contrivance on earth can make them come back again. We cannot develop and print a memory."

--Henri Cartier-Bresson

Drumroll Please ...

At 1pm, Monday, I successfully defended my dissertation!!!

It was a two hour meeting with two of my committee members on conference call, my third committee was present as well as two of my best friends attending. My defense began with a 20 minute overview of my dissertation that covered some of the main topics and how it raised larger questions. The one thing that really struck me was how each of them in turn praised my work, loved my methodological approach, and indicated many times that my work was a major contribution to cultural studies and more importantly agency and resistance. For once, in a long while, I haven't felt like my work was anything of consequence yet within two hours they made me feel like I was on top of the world. It was an odd feeling to be congratulated in this way after spending so many years agonizing over my research. But this moment was the first time that I felt like I was am an intellectual equal.

I have some minor revisions to my introduction and conclusion, but they all urged to get it done ASAP and they will sign me off. After so many years, I am just a step closer to finishing.

First Draft Completed

Coming in at a lean and mean 170 pages, 49,269 words, 945 paragraphs, and 4,506 lines, is my completed dissertation draft. *WHEW*

My immediate concern is my defense scheduled for this Monday, 11am, and I have a number of items to take care of before I leave for Los Angeles this weekend.

Of all the things to do I had the most difficult time with was formatting my dissertation, and writing my acknowledgements page. The general issue about formatting my dissertation are the specific requirements regarding margin lengths, typeface, point size, title page, signature pages, dedication, acknowledgements, table of contents, and many others. It's more of a technical issue but it is time consuming. For instance, one requirement about page numbering states that the page number should be at the bottom-center for the first page of each new chapter. All other pages will have the page number at the upper-right hand corner. After googling for the answer, I found that I needed to use section breaks that will allow different formats for each page including page numbering. I was using page breaks which allows a continuous format for all pages. *Shrugs* I did it and it's done.

The hardest part was writing my acknowledgements page and I can't say that I'm totally happy with it. According to the dissertation preparation manual, an acknowledgements page, "is where you would acknowledge the assistance of those who were significant contributors to the process of writing your dissertation: committee members, outside readers, someone who helped you formulate your proposal, someone who helped with computer work or statistical analysis. Funding sources which supported your research would be acknowledged here as well."

I made an initial list and I ended up with several dozen people to thank that went over three pages single spaced. That's way too long but how do I choose? I started by identifying who I absolutely had to include and they were my partner, my dissertation committee, and my dissertation grants. I then asked myself who could I do without and they were mostly folks I randomly met at conferences, through other friends, etc. Interesting conversations but not a totally huge impact on the direction of my dissertation. What's left are the people in-between that includes close friends, scholars, and professionals. I worked with a couple of friends from my program to build an intellectual community; I know have to thank them. There are friends who I met at Claremont who provided a wonderful social setting for colleagues; my quality of life would've been horrid if it wasn't for them. Then there are the folks in the academic setting who didn't treat me like an adjunct but helped my professional career and offered their support for my writing. They were highly influential because they gave me an idea on what it means to be a researcher/scholar/activist. It keeps going from there and I think I have to include my family in some way too even though my parents still have no idea what I do for a living.

I just have to keep thinking about who made a difference on my scholarship and how to determine those lines. Or, I could just make it totally simple and short. Thanks to my committee, my partner, and the dissertation funding from CGU.

One Step Closer ...

As of 12:32 am, Thursday, April 3, I completed my first draft of my entire dissertation and it was sent off to my committee for review.

The word is ... "Hooray?"

That Word?

What's that word that describes an impending explosion in your head? It starts out maybe as a slight headache, a minor throbbing. Maybe there's a minor vertigo effect. Then it stops and you think you may be fine. But it starts up again. You feel your brain pulsating, pounding the walls of your skull. The pain intensifies to the point where you can't do anything.

What's that word?

I've got less than 10 hours before I finish my first complete draft of my dissertation. I still have to do some editing and grammar checks before I send it off. Come to think of it ... I just remembered I have to fix my conclusion now that a major portion of it went into the introduction.

Seriously, what's that word I'm looking for?