Yes, I Had to Go ...

... I went to the National Portrait Gallery yesterday, and paid tribute to Stephen Colbert's portrait, hanging on the second floor in front of the restroom, above two drinking fountains. Of course, I checked out all the other exhibits including some new installations in the contemporary art gallery, but really, it was Comedy Central's mock pundit that appealed to me the most. Imagine that, a political science/cultural studies professor going to see an entertainer's likeness in triple at a national arts institution in Washington, DC.

You got to love it.

I had to ask the people at the information desk on where it was, and to be honest, I was somewhat embarrassed. But an elderly man glanced up at me, and in what I could only describe as a face of exasperation, took a deep breath and bellowed, "Oh yes! The Stephen Colbert portrait. Everyone wants to see that ... He's more important than Abraham Lincoln ..."


"Oh shit," I thought to myself. He's had a pretty long day. I smiled, politely thanked him, and walked briskly across the museum's courtyard. He was not rude, but it was clear that he was tired. And I don't blame him because there were dozens and dozens of teenagers. I was getting somewhat irritated with their unintelligible prattle, and their rapid-fire texting. I don't remember that many kids the last time I was there, but I'm thinking it had something to do with Stephen Colbert. And sure enough, the kids were lined up, on the second floor from the entryway to the bathroom, about 20-30 bodies, all the way past a massive portrait of President Andrew Jackson. I stood in line, and witnessed a horrifying spectacle of kids being kids.

"Fuck me," I thought. And I wasn't the only one either because an elderly woman also muttered under her breath, "Oh my god." I turned around nodding in approval, and she spoke to me, "This is the value of intelligence in our country." At that moment, I didn't feel embarrassed anymore. I became indignant and righteous all of a sudden. I think it's because I've watched Stephen Colbert and I know how politically insightful he is as a comedian, entertainer, and a critic. I also know that his social, cultural, and political influence is enormous from Wikipedia to the National Portrait Gallery, and I think it's been really positive.

But I just don't know about these kids, at least, the ones I saw at the Gallery. They were little fucking monsters, like cockroaches scattering at camera flashes, and scurrying about the entrance to the bathroom. Like vermin coming out to play.