Thought of the Day

"We photographers deal in things which are continually vanishing, and when they have vanished there is no contrivance on earth can make them come back again. We cannot develop and print a memory."

--Henri Cartier-Bresson

Drumroll Please ...

At 1pm, Monday, I successfully defended my dissertation!!!

It was a two hour meeting with two of my committee members on conference call, my third committee was present as well as two of my best friends attending. My defense began with a 20 minute overview of my dissertation that covered some of the main topics and how it raised larger questions. The one thing that really struck me was how each of them in turn praised my work, loved my methodological approach, and indicated many times that my work was a major contribution to cultural studies and more importantly agency and resistance. For once, in a long while, I haven't felt like my work was anything of consequence yet within two hours they made me feel like I was on top of the world. It was an odd feeling to be congratulated in this way after spending so many years agonizing over my research. But this moment was the first time that I felt like I was am an intellectual equal.

I have some minor revisions to my introduction and conclusion, but they all urged to get it done ASAP and they will sign me off. After so many years, I am just a step closer to finishing.

First Draft Completed

Coming in at a lean and mean 170 pages, 49,269 words, 945 paragraphs, and 4,506 lines, is my completed dissertation draft. *WHEW*

My immediate concern is my defense scheduled for this Monday, 11am, and I have a number of items to take care of before I leave for Los Angeles this weekend.

Of all the things to do I had the most difficult time with was formatting my dissertation, and writing my acknowledgements page. The general issue about formatting my dissertation are the specific requirements regarding margin lengths, typeface, point size, title page, signature pages, dedication, acknowledgements, table of contents, and many others. It's more of a technical issue but it is time consuming. For instance, one requirement about page numbering states that the page number should be at the bottom-center for the first page of each new chapter. All other pages will have the page number at the upper-right hand corner. After googling for the answer, I found that I needed to use section breaks that will allow different formats for each page including page numbering. I was using page breaks which allows a continuous format for all pages. *Shrugs* I did it and it's done.

The hardest part was writing my acknowledgements page and I can't say that I'm totally happy with it. According to the dissertation preparation manual, an acknowledgements page, "is where you would acknowledge the assistance of those who were significant contributors to the process of writing your dissertation: committee members, outside readers, someone who helped you formulate your proposal, someone who helped with computer work or statistical analysis. Funding sources which supported your research would be acknowledged here as well."

I made an initial list and I ended up with several dozen people to thank that went over three pages single spaced. That's way too long but how do I choose? I started by identifying who I absolutely had to include and they were my partner, my dissertation committee, and my dissertation grants. I then asked myself who could I do without and they were mostly folks I randomly met at conferences, through other friends, etc. Interesting conversations but not a totally huge impact on the direction of my dissertation. What's left are the people in-between that includes close friends, scholars, and professionals. I worked with a couple of friends from my program to build an intellectual community; I know have to thank them. There are friends who I met at Claremont who provided a wonderful social setting for colleagues; my quality of life would've been horrid if it wasn't for them. Then there are the folks in the academic setting who didn't treat me like an adjunct but helped my professional career and offered their support for my writing. They were highly influential because they gave me an idea on what it means to be a researcher/scholar/activist. It keeps going from there and I think I have to include my family in some way too even though my parents still have no idea what I do for a living.

I just have to keep thinking about who made a difference on my scholarship and how to determine those lines. Or, I could just make it totally simple and short. Thanks to my committee, my partner, and the dissertation funding from CGU.

One Step Closer ...

As of 12:32 am, Thursday, April 3, I completed my first draft of my entire dissertation and it was sent off to my committee for review.

The word is ... "Hooray?"

That Word?

What's that word that describes an impending explosion in your head? It starts out maybe as a slight headache, a minor throbbing. Maybe there's a minor vertigo effect. Then it stops and you think you may be fine. But it starts up again. You feel your brain pulsating, pounding the walls of your skull. The pain intensifies to the point where you can't do anything.

What's that word?

I've got less than 10 hours before I finish my first complete draft of my dissertation. I still have to do some editing and grammar checks before I send it off. Come to think of it ... I just remembered I have to fix my conclusion now that a major portion of it went into the introduction.

Seriously, what's that word I'm looking for?

The Three "R's"

The three "R's" ... Reading, 'Riting, and 'Rwhat?

A colleague of mine asked why my blog doesn't contain more of my theoretical writings on Foucault, Althusser, Butler, and Brown on topics in the law, race, power, and violence. In fact, he casually, though in a backhanded way, suggested my posts were a collection of "aimless meanderings." My "word choice" oscillated between the banal and the vulgar. It was a nice professional chat; nothing abrasive but as academic writing goes -- good ones anyway -- there's a thinly veiled and subtle critique about me.

Well here's my damn response. This blog is personal. It's not solely academic but it covers a range of interests, ideas, occurrences, and whatever else is on my mind. I write simply and plainly because it's easy and I enjoy being irresponsible with my grammar and word choice. I rarely write about the latest theory or detail my latest argument. I already spend enough time writing and theorizing at countless cafes or my office and for the explicit purpose of submitting to a journal or a conference. Furthermore, I do not get credit for publishing on a personal blog. It doesn't count. Besides, who am I trying to impress out here?

I have many colleagues who have blogs and they write about this and that theory and their take on it. They are a dime a dozen and that's absolutely fine. It's the internet after all and ultimately it's a choice.

I recall something Edward Said said when he gave a public lecture about his memoir, Out of Place, at Midnight Special Bookstore. He was chuckling at the severe criticism leveled by his usual detractors for what they believe are historical inaccuracies in Said's life. Go figure that nonsense. Someone else is disputing what really occurred in your own life. Said responded plainly and simply, "It's my memoir. If you don't like it go write your own."

Face to Face

I can officially add "photographer" to my resume of professional activities. I was contacted by the National Portrait Gallery (Smithsonian) to see if they could use one of my photos for their blog. I was really grateful that they even considered it and of course I said "Yes!" The blog is titled Face to Face and it was recently "released" to the public featuring a shot of the glass canopy of the Kogod Courtyard as a banner. Someday I have to go back to take a wide angle shot but it's an impressive structure that forms what looks to be several waves. The afternoon/evening sunlight accentuates this flowing form and if the light is right it can be quite dramatic. The original shot (here) is used as a banner on their website and it will change every so often. But I'm quite flattered that my photo is a part of their inaugural release.

Stuff White People Like

I came across this new blog appropriately entitled, Stuff White People Like. Listed as #91 on "stuff white people like" is my hometown of San Francisco:

San Francisco is one of the top US destinations for white people in terms of both travel and living. It is universally agreeable and is a safe discussion topic for any situation.

The city is considered one of the world’s premiere locations for white person research.

White people like to vacation in San Francisco because it has beautiful architecture, fantastic food, and it is near the water. They like to live in San Francisco because of its abundance of Non Profit Organizations, Expensive Sandwiches, Wine, political outlook, and most importantly its diversity.

But more importantly as SWPL continues,

The City of San Francisco has a very multicultural population that ranges from white to gay to Asian. Within white culture this [is] known as “ideal diversity” for its provision of exotic restaurants while simultaneously preserving property values. The presence of gays and Asians is imperative as it two provides two of the key resources most necessary for white success and happiness.

However, it is important to be aware of the fact that regions outside of San Francisco feature many people who are not white, gay or Asian. They are greatly appreciated during the census, but white people are generally very happy that they stay in places like Oakland and Richmond. This enables white people to feel good about living near people of diverse backgrounds without having to directly deal with troublesome issues like income gaps or schooling.

Now that is some seriously funny social and racial commentary. I'm liking this blog.

T.V. Carpio

I'm a Beatles fan for as long as I can remember and this rendition totally rocks!

HOLY SHIT!!!

I was formally contacted by the Dean's office and he officially offered me the position at Grinnell.

HOLY SHIT!!! I'm going to get a job!!!

UPDATE: I gave my counter-offer and I was able to increase my base salary and relocation expenses. "It's a deal!" as the saying goes. I contacted the department and informed them of my decision and everyone's happy. I chatted with my chair and talked about my course schedule, books, contracts, residence, and syllabi. It's going to be a busy year!

Quotables

There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.
-- George Carlin

Post-Grinnell

I had a pounding headache after I returned from Grinnell. There was no way I could actually work even though I have a ton of things to do like scheduling my defense, finish my revisions, and of course switch gears back to teaching at GMU; something about Marxism and democracy. That reminds me, I have to grade their midterm exams. *grumbles*

Oh hell.

Grinnell Day 3

Wrapped up the remaining interviews with faculty from Sociology and American Studies. I was so tired that I can't even remember their questions, let alone if my answers were coherent. I just remember ending it well and leaving Grinnell with more sights of wild turkeys, soaring hawks and eagles, and an Amish colony. I had no trouble with my flights in and out of Chicago. When I arrived at Reagan National I bumped into a former student who was working there. We chatted and he asked about where I went. I told him I was interviewing at Grinnell. "You're leaving us?" he asked. "If I get it I'm going," I said. He looked dejected and said I was his best professor ever, and then started a colorful tirade against GMU. "Gawd damn that school!" he ended. I told him that nothing has been confirmed and that I'll still be around. We laughed, shook hands, and parted ways.

I called "J" to pick me up. When I saw her drive up, I knew I was home. I got into the car, turned to her and said, "I got class issues."

"So what else is new?"

Exactly I thought.

At Grinnell Day 2

I am absolutely exhausted, exhilarated, and overwhelmed with my second day of interviews. I talked with more faculty members from the department from 8:45am to 8:00pm. It was a seriously full day of great advice, solid exchanges, and some no-nonsense talk that I really appreciated. My lecture demonstration went well in the morning and my job talk seemed pretty solid in the afternoon. And above all, I got to meet with some of the Sociology majors and they gave me a really good insight about student culture and what it means to be at Grinnell. Teaching is probably the most valued practice and principle that constitutes the identity of this college and students are highly invested in their educational experience, one that I haven't seen this intense in any college or university anywhere in my career.

My meetings with the faculty really gave me a solid idea of what it means to be a colleague. And the nicest thing the chair of the department said to me was that my value to the department is my very personhood.

And I saw Manning Marable today at dinner who gave a public lecture at Grinnell.

"Wow" is what I kept saying all day.

At Grinnell

I'm here in Grinnell!!! I started on what will be 3 days of interviewing.

My interview started with a wonderful dinner with some of the faculty members in the department and the Special Assistant to the President on Diversity Affairs. They gave me the lowdown on what's been happening and how timely and important my talk will be for them. But more importantly, I had forgotten what it was like to have colleagues. The people who I have met thus far are simply amazing and I know that's going to be a very common theme with everyone else so I hope I can show them my best. It's been really positive. I have to get ready for tomorrow because it's going to be a very full day from morning till night. I have a serious schedule meeting faculty from the Sociology and American Studies departments as well as various administrators. On top of all that, I have a lecture demonstration and my full talk in the afternoon and somewhere in-between I have to find time to eat. It's going to be one long intense day.

Holy Shit!

I got the call from Grinnell College and I made it to the next phase of the interview!!!

I'm off to Iowa next week!!!

Another Revision Done

About an hour ago, I finished my third revision of chapter 2 titled "Governmentalizing Risk: The Discursive Construction of Sexual Orientation in the Hate Crime Statistics Act of 1990."

That's right.

Yeah.

R.I.P.

I was able to finally catch the latest episode of my favorite police crime drama, The Wire, this evening. And I am utterly speechless at the death of Omar Little. He didn't go out in a blaze of gunfire by the police or Marlo's guns. He didn't overdose on drugs because that was not Omar's style. Many a time an attempt on his life was made by the toughest gangsters and he escaped them all. Until he was taken down by a corner kid no older than 12 years old while buying a pack of cigarettes at the store.

The Baltimore Sun didn't report his death. His story was pushed aside for a building fire. His body was even mistagged only to be corrected by the coroner, thus ending the episode and the man whose cheerful whistle sparked terror in the neighborhood where he walked the streets.

A vengeance unsettled.

R.I.P. Omar Little.

Here for HBO's discussion thread.

Professor Andrea Smith

I know of Professor Andrea Smith's work on indigenous rights, Native American studies, and being the co-founder of Incite! Women of Color Against Violence. I didn't know she was a faculty member in a joint appointment between American Cultures and Women's Studies at University Michigan. And I didn't know she was denied tenure. But get this! It was the Women's Studies Department that voted against her!

It'll be very very difficult to find out the exact reasons for her denial but it is proceeding up the university rank and file. Going up for tenure can be a heart-wrenching process where your research, teaching, and service are evaluated within the university and with experts in the field. It's a process that is mired with twists and turns and what may look like a positive file full of glowing reviews can unexpectedly turn into a denial. Sometimes you get a reason; sometimes you don't. And right now, there's no reason for the denial. I also know from several colleagues that even though tenure review is a heavily regulated process, it can also get quite personal and vindictive. Think about it: a junior faculty depends upon positive votes from the department. If you say something that irritates a senior faculty member -- and the reasons for can be extensive that includes clothing style (too brazen, too dowdy), personality (too aggressive, too aloof), shoes (yes it's a true story), and to every mundane element of one's personhood that has nothing to do with their professional standards.

It's too simple to say that you'll always encounter a jerk in your workplace. But these jerks made it through and they're in a position of power to decide your professional fate. Of course, the departmental vote is just one stop in a pretty extensive process from the university wide vote to the provost to the president. They are all represented in this process. Ideally, they can operate as the internal "check and balance" to correct gross mistakes like the one I just mentioned. But the problem is that they become vulnerable if they do override decisions from below. It would be seen as undermining the authority of the faculty and the university committee reviewing the case. So in the end, rarely, but not never, do the provost or the president use this authority.

It's really disappointing because I know (personally for one thing) many faculty who were denied tenure. Some legitimate such as a lack of publications. And others for some seriously ridiculous reasons, if they ever become public. For Professor Andrea Smith, her scholarship and service is simply outstanding. And to have the departmental vote split between two historically close departments is puzzling. Being denied tenure is like being punched in the gut. It's basically saying, "After six years of quality research, excellent teaching record, and service to the community and to the world, it all doesn't mean a damn thing to this university. So long and goodbye."

No one needs to feel like that. Certainly not Professor Smith's already distinguished career.


From The Chronicle of Higher Education:

Protests Heat Up at Michigan Over Tenure Case of Expert in Native American Studies

Students and faculty members at the University of Michigan at Ann Arbor have started an e-mail campaign to protest negative decisions in the tenure bid of Andrea L. Smith, who is interim director of the campus’s program in Native American studies.

Ms. Smith is an assistant professor with a joint appointment in Michigan’s American-culture program and women’s-studies department. The two programs split on her tenure bid, with American culture voting yes and women’s studies voting no. Then, last week, a panel in the College of Literature, Science, and the Arts sided with women’s studies and voted to reject Ms. Smith’s bid. The decision now goes to the provost, Teresa A. Sullivan.

The e-mail in support of Ms. Smith asks people to send letters to the provost protesting the negative decisions. The message says Ms. Smith is “one of the greatest indigenous feminist intellectuals of our time.” The message does not name the students and professors who are supporting Ms. Smith, nor does it detail why her tenure bid was turned down. The message is circulating on several academic e-mail lists, including one for women’s studies, and has been echoed in the blogosphere at places like ThinkGirl.net and La Chola.

Valerie Traub, who leads women’s studies at Michigan, declined to talk about Ms. Smith’s bid or the department’s decision. “It’s a process internal to the University of Michigan,” she said.

Ms. Smith could not be reached for comment. She is the author of Conquest: Sexual Violence and the American Indian Genocide (South End Press, 2005) and Native Americans and the Christian Right: The Gendered Politics of Unlikely Alliances, which is being released next month by Duke University Press. She is also a co-founder of Incite! Women of Color Against Violence, which calls itself a “national activist organization of radical feminists of color advancing a movement to end violence against women of color.” —Robin Wilson

Breathing a Sigh of Relief

It took a few days after my interview on Monday but I am relieved that it's over. The massive time in preparation from Thursday to Monday was exhausting but I felt it paid off. My answers were on the mark and I got a really positive sense of the committee. It just took me a few days to recover and actually get back to finishing my dissertation.

The minutes before the interview was a different story. I was obsessed with details, rehearsing my answers, and monitoring my tone. I was a nervous wreck right up to the last second. But when the interview started, my answers flowed, we were laughing, and just having a really positive conversation. They asked about my teaching, my thoughts about diversity, what a class would look like, and what I would teach for a senior seminar. I then asked about their department, working with the students, and life in Iowa. At the end, I felt really confident and that I put my best foot forward.

Now the long drawn out part. The committee told me that this is the first of two rounds, the phone interview being the first. I think I'm one of ten people at this stage. The second round is the campus visit that will take place two weeks later and I'm assuming it'll be with two to four finalists. So until then, it's the waiting game for me with hopefully some good news for me.